Are you satisfied now? Did you get what you want, or were you hoping that I would fall for your deceptive ways of winning me over? Were you waiting for me to give you the one thing that is precious to me?  My honour is what you wanted to take, rip it apart from me, the one thing that is MINE! I saw something in you; a decent man is what you made yourself out to be, respectful, sweet and polite. But that was all part of your game, wasn’t it? To try and get into my pants and be the one to take my virginity, my honour that belongs to me.  I was wrong about you; I must have been deluded to actually believe you liked me, really liked me..

But it was just to get me to fall for you, enough to wanna give it to you.

You tried and tried but you failed, until it came to a point where you gave up, because you knew I wasn’t going to give you my pride and joy, I wasn't going to let you go inside of me.

To you, sex is something that will fulfil your temporary desires, and once you've done your bit, it’s like it never happened, onto the next girl it is. But to me it’s my honour, if I had given you that, it would have ruined me, ripped my heart out. Let’s say I was foolish enough to sleep with you, given you my everything, the moment after you’d be gone quicker than a virgin train. I’d never hear from you again, but still you left. You tried to get into my pants, there were times we were close to... Kissed my lips, touched my hips, held me tight in your arms, I can’t deny it felt good, thinking you actually cared for me… But when you realised it wasn’t going to happen, you dropped me like I was nothing, a bin bag chucked to the side of the road. Oh don’t worry, I’m not blaming you at all, after all you are a typical guy, that’s all you care about, to fulfil you sexual desires, my feelings were never any of your concerns. I blame myself for believing you genuinely cared about me, wanted me for more than just the physical.  I was a complete fool, a gullible idiot for thinking you wanted me for other reasons, for my personality or maybe the way I smiled? For the long walks we use to take by the canal, for our conversations that made you once laugh, or was that all a lie to?

Oh I’m not heart broken; I’ve never given you my heart to break in the first place. I'm just ashamed and hurt for letting you do this to me. Allowing you to become this close just to use me and eventually drop me like I’m a piece of meat.  I feel so stupid and foolish that I’m too ashamed to ever face you, or to ever let anyone come this close again. I feel filthy and used and yes it’s been a hard lesson. You knew that I find it hard to trust and open up to people and still you took advantage of me…  I'm just glad I did not give you my honour.. You have no right of that.

The way I deal with these things is, I act like it never happened, it does ease the pain. But sometimes I do remind myself as it did teach me a few things… we all make mistakes I guess, but to learn from them and not repeat them is what makes them beneficial in a way.

Ladies if a man really wants you, he would ask your father’s permission to get to know you!